Been a while since I last did a proper post so here goes. Perhaps one of the reasons of my lack of real activity here has been that I sort of lost my way during the summer of 2015. I had spent much of that year helping others that I had neglected my own path and needs and by the time summer had come I felt little of the spark inside.
This of course upset me, I have been at that point before a number of times in my path, and while I have no problem helping others as I know its the right thing to do, I still should have put some time aside for the special connection I have with my dear goddess. I didn’t though.
Mounting pressures then continued through the winter of 2015 followed by the deaths of some friends in the early part of 2016. While so many events and community activities continued to draw my attention I had recognised the gap in my commitment to Selket and picked up on a few small and what seemed interesting leads.
Those leads however turned out to pull my entire spiritual world apart, so much so that in many ways the ignorant bliss I’ve had for the past 30 years on many aspects of my path I wish I could recover. Alas that won’t be possible now. In a way the vast array of new material that has shaken my understanding of my goddess caused deep doubt within my practices, over the past few months that I’ve had to let the dust settle and deal with the after-mouth has now, spurned me on to greater eagerness of discovery. Yes, the changes I’ve had to make in how I relate to her and the Kemetic path in general is now different, but I’m happier for knowing that I’m more ‘right’ than I was before.
I’ve never been one for sticking within a narrow band of experience, the pagan path of course encourages (and often necessitates) the need to plough into vast amounts of information and challenge ones views. I’m certainly quite thankful to my chaos magic principles too for the pragmatic approach and acceptance that things change, which is in particular a frequent thing within Egyptology anyway. I should be prepared to change things as new discoveries come to light.
With new understanding of areas of Egyptology I had never explored before, I can slowly rebuild the connection I have with my goddess and those other deities that I have with a deeper knowledge. How long this will take I have no idea but I’m sure it will be an interesting journey as the past has shown before!