2016: Midwinter, Yule, or whatever…

Well, that time is almost upon us again isn’t it? I’m often told I’m miserable this time of year, and yes, I am. I have absolutely no idea what this time is about. Though I’m pagan, or more accurately Kemetic, in previous years I’ve felt no connection with this time of the year, in fact I loath it. Why? I don’t mind the dark or the cold as such, but the short days seem to wear me down quite a bit and I long for the sun’s return.

My year (in a complicated way) starts at mid-summer, and for me this is the half way and lowest point for me. I mourn its loss and hope for the return of longer days and to see that glowing ball in the sky. Every morning on my way to work the past few months I’ve seen less and less of the sun and that makes me sad.

I don’t understand the pagan festival of Yule and this year, for the second year, I will mark it with friends in a our groups, but the festival as such means little to me. I care only about the companionship. That means more to me than any season change.

My family of course will celebrate Christmas as my wife is Christian and that is fair enough, I don’t get it so I will tag along and as a way to include my path such as it is we will have a Yule meal to mark it. Again I will have little feelings for the festival and only for the family connection.

That has been my annual routine for more than two decades: I hide and hope the sun comes back.

This year though there will be something different which is due to significant changes in my Kemetic practices. Tomorrow (Friday 16th) I begin a Kemetic festival period which I think ends around Boxing Day.  The festival is something I found in the last few months and is called ‘Festival of The Ten Dead Deities of Dendera’. A right mouthful and not as depressing as it sounds actually.

More to come as that one unfolds as this is the first go, and at least I have a number of days to work out what I need to do – mostly its just offerings of food and water to them. Those deities are connected with the creation stories and sit quite deeply at the early aspects of my Kemetic path.

Time will tell if it works out and get me more ‘in the festive mood’ like everyone else, now that I have something to look forward to! 🙂

So the rest of you have a happy whatever, I’m off to toast some dead deities. TTFN.


A Twisted Year

Been a while since I last did a proper post so here goes. Perhaps one of the reasons of my lack of real activity here has been that I sort of lost my way during the summer of 2015. I had spent much of that year helping others that I had neglected my own path and needs and by the time summer had come I felt little of the spark inside.

This of course upset me, I have been at that point before a number of times in my path, and while I have no problem helping others as I know its the right thing to do, I still should have put some time aside for the special connection I have with my dear goddess. I didn’t though.

Mounting pressures then continued through the winter of 2015 followed by the deaths of some friends in the early part of 2016. While so many events and community activities continued to draw my attention I had recognised the gap in my commitment to Selket and picked up on a few small and what seemed interesting leads.

Those leads however turned out to pull my entire spiritual world apart, so much so that in many ways the ignorant bliss I’ve had for the past 30 years on many aspects of my path I wish I could recover. Alas that won’t be possible now. In a way the vast array of new material that has shaken my understanding of my goddess caused deep doubt within my practices, over the past few months that I’ve had to let the dust settle and deal with the after-mouth has now, spurned me on to greater eagerness of discovery. Yes, the changes I’ve had to make in how I relate to her and the Kemetic path in general is now different, but I’m happier for knowing that I’m more ‘right’ than I was before.

I’ve never been one for sticking within a narrow band of experience, the pagan path of course encourages (and often necessitates) the need to plough into vast amounts of information and challenge ones views. I’m certainly quite thankful to my chaos magic principles too for the pragmatic approach and acceptance that things change, which is in particular a frequent thing within Egyptology anyway. I should be prepared to change things as new discoveries come to light.

With new understanding of areas of Egyptology I had never explored before, I can slowly rebuild the   connection I have with my goddess and those other deities that I have with a deeper knowledge. How long this will take I have no idea but I’m sure it will be an interesting journey as the past has shown before!


An Inspiring Day

Now is the time of Ostara, the Spring Equinox, of equal day and equal night, a festival that I have never previously marked. However…

The past week or so has been most interesting. First event of note is a discussion with my friend Lilith and the subject of the symbols that appeared on my hands twenty years ago this year, although I have recently discovered some unlocked healing potential in them, she suggested that the two parts of the symbol being the Ankh within a circle, could represent the Sun and Moon aspects respectively.

I quickly identified the aspect of Thoth within those symbols, he has been a shadowy aspect to my path the last few years, and my Selket has been slowly introducing me to him through various tasks. The functions of the moon, wisdom and healing, Thoth’s spheres of interests were then quickly followd a few days later when I managed to find some time to watch a TV program I had recorded weeks previously on the fabled Book Of Thoth, the foundation to Herticism, something that had an early influence on my path.

Although most of the content was familiar the affect this alleged book had on the formation of the Tarot perked my interest. Since I began my path, except for one instance I have never been able to lay my hands on a pack of Tarot cards without experiencing heat and pain, thats if I’m even able to get close enough, most often ‘events’ occur to prevent me when desire to go shopping. Anyway, the upshot of the TV program was that although the Tarot was interpreted as being the source or descendant of the Book of Tarot, but the interpretation could be wrong, there may never have been a book and the Book of Thoth could be a description of the entire corpus of written work as it was traditional to attribute written works to him. This view I do in fact agree with, its not unusual for this kind of allusion with Egyptian literature, and I felt a niggling feeling this was in some way connected with all that I mention above. I will be watching this program again to gleam more from it.

Today, it hits me, the realisation at the time of equal sun and equal moon that the reason I can’t touch Tarot is that they would have been, and will be, a distraction from the real understanding of the wisdom of Thoth. The fact that all of these events and thoughts occur at such a connected time that symbolises Thoth is something I can’t ignore, I’ve had similar before and I know I should pay attention in the days, weeks, months that follow. I know more is to come.


For many years I’ve done the odd bit of healing but now I’ve decided to try and focus all that I’ve picked up via intuition and from my Selket into a coherant framwork. I think Reiki is that one. Very excited about this and She has been buzzing around my head for days now about this, I think its the right thing to do. 🙂